Lately, I have been most successful at showing up to my meditation cushion, or chair, in my case, because longer than 12 minutes on a cushion and my feet fall painfully asleep. What I mean by successful is fairly consistent - almost daily. And I've adapted to the chair in order to keep up the practice.
Note to self -I did not say perfect at showing up to meditate. Oh dear, did I just use the word perfect?
Or ding dong - my bell is rung.
I just uncovered with the typed print of that word p-e-r-f-e-c-t what holds me back from expressing myself. Yup, perfectionism. Somehow I think I am going to come up with some perfect solution that gets me to either turn off the lights here and move on to some other utopian creative project OR gets me to stop hiding and express myself someway somehow here now.
I have a lot of other reasons for not showing up. Perfectionism just tops the list. What I have discovered from my meditation practice is not to expect anything. To follow the practice. My mind drifts or runs and I come back to the breath. I'm learning to be gentle with myself and not try to be perfect. To make friends with all of myself. Most days I show up.
|© Kara McGee 2012
So, here I am. Showing up to practice.