Art Every Day Month Begins

Rusty bits project day 1: November 1

I was a bit short on time yesterday to start off my rusty bits project.  So, I had to just dooo eeet!  This clay piece may end up getting fired and hanging from the rusty bit above it.  Or I may change my mind and do something else.  It is all about experimentation - Yay!

I'm proud of myself for several things.  I began.  I used my slab roller.  I used one of my sister's doilies to press into the clay for experimentation. Thanks sis for the crochet donations!

Before I go to play in the clay today here is one other photo from yesterday

My studio helper and a random studio view on 11/01/2010

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Rusty bits......

....is such a metaphor for the creative process when it gets into stuck.  If one doesn't use it then things get rusty and stagnant and stuck.  Then when one turns on the tap it's messy and yucky and sputtering with red rusty bleck.   It is really easy to quit at that point.  To say to yourself  I cannot draw.  What was I thinking - I am no sculptor.  I will never write this novel.   Look at all these art supplies that I've stockpiled and now they are stagnating.    Oh well.....my creative life is over......

But wait!.........

That is just the rust coming out of the creative tap.   It is possible to get rusty even overnight or between studio sessions or writing sessions.  Yesterday I was in the flow but what is this bleck today -I'm anxious.  I don't like it.  I want to listen to my gremlins aka the committee and just avoid it all. 

But if I was to look at this bleck as a rusty faucet sputtering.....and I just told the committee to go play in the clubhouse while I work on this.......and I began again knowing that some rust may appear and nothing has gone wrong.  Just keep pumping that creative well.

Set some conditions of enoughness*.     Soon, the creative water will flow crystal clear or at least it won't be so darn blecky!  And when it does get blecky between creative dawdling time then I know what to do..... just keep on taking steps.

Announcement......

I have an acquaintance that is participating in NaNoWriMo.   In fact, she's organizing some events for it in my local community.   I've never known anyone local who has participated in this novel writing month.   I've witnessed it online.   This year I thought - oooooh....I could do that.   In my mind I imagined going to the write-ins and making friends and doing all this writing.......I do love to write.   My husband said to me, "oh you'd have no problem writing that much."

Then I realized, durnit,  - I have no big burning desire to write fiction at this point in time.    So if the NaNoWriMo is a push to just "dooo eeet." (thanks Havi for the do it phrase)   NaNoWriMo's have said, "I've always wanted to write a novel............" 

then what in my life am I always saying  "I've always wanted to.........???????"

Answer.......there are many answers to that question,  but what came to mind for an equivalent NaNoWriMo type project was......

I've always wanted to take these strange rusty bits I collected more than a decade ago and use them with clay to make art.  Weird I know......but hey we all have mysterious things that we love...  

If not 2010, then when?

Then I thought Leah Piken Kolidas offers this Art Every Day Month each November.   I could join that?......I hesitated to join because I thought - maybe I don't really want to have the pressure to blog about this......but you know I like the idea of joining in community.  It may not be local but it is still a community.  I need to track this and why not on the blog with friends and creative companions.  

So, in just a few days I will start taking those rusty bits and doing a creative dawdle with them.  My goal is not to create one finished piece each day but to work each day on them.......To work everyday at sketches, and clay lumps, and to do something everyday in November to move these rusty bits along.   To pump my creative well.

Now I likely won't post about this every day.....but I will try to keep frequent updates coming so that I can declare myself satisfied via conditions of enoughness*.    And it helps to be part of the community if I actually share what I'm doing.  If you are here visiting from AEDM  - welcome!  Feel free to dawdle and dabble around here.......or feed the bunnies.

*want to know what conditions of enoughness are?-see Jen Louden's work  

Retreat Goodness

The photo below is the rough draft of my backyard labyrinth in 2007. Sketch a path for yourself. Put down a few words on the page.......post.......begin again.......

I was inspired this morning to take my draft posts and get something up here. Karen and Joy* inspired me. These are two of the women I was lucky enough to spend time with on the retreat. I realized upon reading their blog posts that I really needed to get something up here - it doesn't really matter what I write just that I write.

I've been back from retreat for over a week now. Re-entry is bumpy. I had a wonder-full time. I have also been slowly reconnecting with my regular life at home again. The hardest part about retreat I think is returning.

I'm sure my time spent in retreat will unfold and reveal itself here in future posts. I definitely feel like I have some creative stuff to dawdle with in writing, collage, and clay. I'm holding much of it in a private safe container for now until it's time for it to come out and play in a public space.
I met so many lovely women. And what a special gift it was to reconnect with the women who attended in 2007. I feel the need to just say to any new and old friends coming by for a visit - miss you!

I am starting to believe this blog will be a more regular thing I attend and tend as my creative path. For now, I have nothing bright and pithy to say.....just wanted to leave a post.

At the retreat, some readers of my previous blogs asked me about them. Spiritdoll was my first blog. It begin on Jan 1, 2006. It continued into August 2008. I also created Temenos which I couldn't take on blogspot so it's address is karascreativitycircle.blogspot.com. Temenos never really got going strongly but looking back now I realize it held a desire that I believe will grow again here on this current blog.
For the past few years I've kept these previous blogs but made them private. For a little while, as an offering of retreat goodness. I am going to make them available. Just click on the links above. I believe I've turned off the comments because I'm not trying to start these up again - creative dawdling is where I'm directing my attention and opening up the conversation.


creative blessings y'all



* I hope to have a link for Joy coming soon!

perspective minding

I wrote this post a few days ago, but didn't post it immediately because I wanted to add some sort of photo. Then I discovered these bugs on the glass outside on a window of our house. I used my camera and got a really micro close shot of them. Talk about a perspective change because what you see there in bugs is probably only about an inch square. These bugs were just hatching out of the little stick thingy. Amazing. My hubby did a search and identified them as seed bugs. They eat conifer seeds.

The post I wrote is below the photo....click on the photo for a larger view.



I'm preparing for a week of retreat in Taos with Jennifer Louden. I attended this retreat in 2007 when it was Jen Louden and Suzanne Falter Barnes leading together. Jen is now working with Havi Brooks. I loved the retreat with Jen and Suzanne but I'm also very excited to meet Havi and her duck Selma. I'm intrigued by the wacky Shiva Nata yogic brain stuff Havi teaches.

I could make a list of the things I'm looking forward for this retreat.... like spending time with Karen, seeing all the other lovely, creative, women who are returning from 2007. I'm looking forward to new women I'll meet (though I'm also a little nervous about that too). The Mabel Dodge Luhan house is a wild and serene artist's haven(yes, it is a paradox) and I look forward to visiting it again. And Taos. I cannot wait for the good food. The laughter and the tears. Comfort given and received from the Comfort Queen Jen Louden. I bet I could make a list much much longer than this.

What I most look forward to is a shift in perspective. We all need that from time to time. On my better days I try to work it into my daily life. Such as when I've been involved at my computer I'll make a shift by going outside. Or doing some kind of exercise. I'm not always successful or mindful about it. Retreat though is something different. It creates a container for a kind of mindfulness which opens up the possibility for all kinds of shifts in one's perspective. I look forward to that the most because I guess it has been a few years since I really retreated in length and width. I'm feeling like it is time.

Speaking of time, today Saturn moves out of Virgo and goes into Libra. This will be a shift in perspective too. I'm not much of an astrologer. But I like it as a creative process and it is something I dabble in and explore. When Saturn moved into Virgo I found myself volunteering a lot. I did a couple of years of service in my homeowner's association. I also became more and more involved with our local library. It's a library run entirely by volunteers. I found I really like the work of libraries. I did not care for the homeowner's association work so much. The other thing that happened in this 2-3 year period while Saturn moved through Virgo was I mostly stopped blogging. My previous blogs sort of lost mojo and I lost mojo to write them. This one - creative dawdling - has been sort of waiting and waiting for me. Sometimes it says to me- "Too much dawdling Kara, come back!"

I have a feeling that with Saturn's move into Libra I will be more inclined to reestablish my relationship (Libra) with writing a blog. I've been noticing the urge to express myself again. Going on a writer's retreat will give me that opportunity to look at it from other angles and feel it out in new ways. My guess is that Saturn may give me a need to create a structure and establish a more regular way of expressing with this blog. Of course, with a shift in perspective there is also the possibility that I will go in an unexpected direction. Yet, I look forward to that too.

I've been on cruise control a little bit these past few years. I like making small steps and I feel I have made progress. Yet, going off cruise control for a little bit and taking a new unknown path - one where I can't just go on auto pilot will be very good.

There will also be creative dawdling involved granted it will be more mindful creative dawdling......more when I return....blessings

Taking that oar and making a swish

I haven't paid any attention to my blog for weeks now. When I sign in today, I discover blogger has new templates. It may be time for me to either commit to writing this blog or not. Yet that is an *overwhelming thought. It seems easier to drift, to live in limbo, than to make a decision. And I know it is not easier ultimately. Not making a decision is also a choice. It is a decision. My future self does not want to be dealing with this decision drift in the future.

I have been feeling the need lately to broadcast. It comes up as words in my head. Sometimes it is like writing a letter to my friend Karen. Sometimes I think I ought to go post on the Comfort Cafe forum. Sometimes I just rant in my journal. I get an urge to go to Facebook. I read other forums that I never have posted on but suddenly I want to register and write a reply. Or I talk my sister's or husband's ears off about stuff they don't really need to hear about in such detail.

The above techniques I can see right now as I reflect on this is more drift............

Okay, so I am not ready to commit to ALL that is involved with writing this blog. It feels like a huge big dang do. I do know I am ready to just try making a broadcast. To explore one step at a time what that is like. I have a choice to keep drifting or to just put an oar in the water one swish at time and guide my lifeboat.

*I use the word overwhelm all the time. It has recently come to my attention that overwhelm may not be that we have so many things going on as it is we are procrastinating or avoiding that one thing. Yup, I agree. I use the word overwhelm in relation to all the things that need doing but the feeling of overwhelm is coming up because I am not tending to my need to express myself through writing and creativity. I am not broadcasting or giving my gift and consequently I start to feel I'm losing it. Buried under everything I have to do, should do, wish and desire to do..........overwhelm!!!!!!!

Ah, but it really doesn't take much to come out from overwhelm. Sure, there is work involved. I just have to turn back to making that thing, that it, that need a priority. Even a few minutes begins to get the wheels going and that buried feeling becomes - I can do this...yeah, I'm doing it! Remember to repeat.......step.........step........step...........no more steps and then your standing still.....oh here comes the pile of overwhelm............step......step.........step......you get the picture.

There are a bunch of links I could put into this post but I'm not going to bother. Because, eventually I'll get back to playing and sharing and taking the time to link.......but today it is about just taking a step or to use my paddle to make a swish ...... Instead, I'm going to declare myself satisfied and publish. If you would like links to where I learned about overwhelm or a link to the Comfort Cafe or to Jennifer Louden's satisfaction finder well leave me a comment.......

Oh and one last thing, I also arrived today to find that I have a new unknown to me follower. How cool is that?! She probably came from Karen's blog which is about the only place I comment and leave a trail to this blog. See, in addition to drifting with this blog I also put no decisions toward leaving links anywhere so anyone might find it........ that is a topic of exploration for another post......right now it is just one step at a time.

Another step will be to figure out how to find my new follower????? Oh, I know it is probably rather simple.....but I've been standing still so long.......one step at a time.........

Seeding your wishes on the New Moon

Geranium Seed

Last week I discovered geraniums have these really cool TWIRLY seeds. This is a geranium I moved inside over the winter. The petals make a pink mess around the plant, dropping petal confetti all over. I was sweeping up and I saw this seed shimmering in the sunlight. It looks as if it is ready to dance and spin right into the ground and grow into a new plant.

Today is the Aries New Moon. A seed is a wonderful symbol for this day. Traditionally, Aries is the first sign on an astrological wheel. Aries begins the new year in spring. And this new moon is the perfect time to plant your seed wishes for the next month and even the next year. It's a sign of new beginnings and going after what YOU want.

Aries is about going with your impulses. It's bold, courageous, and self directed. A sign to embody your authentic self and twirl right out there!

I know this new moon falls into my 6th house in my astrological chart. The 6th house is the area in one's chart that explores work, self improvement, health. It is a house about one's daily routine and self discipline. This new moon landed conjunct with my natal Saturn - so that tells me that now is a good time to create structures and persistent work.

I am wishing for:

daily creative dawdling action

writing practice

making stuff

developing the skills of a creative dawdler, dabbler, and explorer

maintaining my exercise habit and continually exploring new skills in movement

choosing and taking action! (even if it is just a small BOLD step)

improving my working environment, purging stuff I don't need anymore and using up what I have. Not saving it all for later or someday.

I want to pursue - Go! Jump right into the current moment of creating. Clear through the accumulated projects and get to a fresh new page.

I wish to track my routines. I want to be self reliable, trustworthy to myself, more consistent in my pursuit of my creative explorations.

This is what I wish on this new moon. Now I may go collage a dream board.....at least in the spirit of impulses I am going to go sift through some imagery and maybe a vision board will happen.

What do you want, wish for, desire on this New Moon?

Lost my creative dawdler

On the 18th of January I partially wrote a post, which I never finished and posted. Partly that was due to being interrupted and also my own willingness to be interrupted. January just got completely away from me and my intentions. I sit here today kind of lost. Where was I?

A creative dawdler has to learn to start. To practice starting and even restarting. You see - there will always be interruptions or obstacles or committees.

Do you mind if I tell you a little about what happened to me? See January started off with great enthusiasm. I had a word and focus and a strong desire to get back to my blog and do some other creative things.

First I found out that my shoulder/arm pain was not a torn rotator cuff. Thankful for that. Then I found out a volunteer committee I'm on had come back to life. Then I realized - oh if I'm going to get rid of and hand off my secretary treasurer job for my homeowner's association to the next person I must do a lot work between now and February 1. That first week of January the dominoes started lining up.

Well, then I started physical therapy to help with my shoulder/arm pain. Of course I do NOT live anywhere close to the place so factor in a bunch of extra commuting time. Then it dawns on me that I have to make my schedule possible for accommodating the sudden classes for this volunteer committee that's been resurrected. Okay, no problem I make sure I can do physical therapy and attend these classes and move the cat vet appointment a week ahead.

Notice my creative dawdling time is rapidly disappearing. Then the dominoes all started to fall last week. I started the week with an appointment that had been made in November 09 (wasn't going to try to change that one since this appointment was the first available). I did hours of sec/treas work. Went to physical therapy (which at this point as they added exercises with my improvement it meant I was there longer and longer). The cat's appointment that had been moved ended up in this week. I was going from one task to another and all the details for the homeowner's sec/treas job and the details of this resurrected committee were making me feel as if my life had been swallowed. It had. My stress increased as I had less recovery time. My creative life, which is what I consider is my life, was no where to be found.

So this week I am saying, "Now where was I?" What was my intention at the beginning of the year? Oh yeah, "I choose......" was my theme. I was choosing to become a more productive creative dawdler and to attend to my creative projects. I was going to explore tracking my creative dawdling. Well, one month down and I can say I did very little creative dawdling in January.

This is an opportunity to explore. It seems not okay to say "no I cannot be on that committee anymore because that would take away from my creative dawdling time" I wanted and needed to get my shoulder better. I'd waited two and a half months for that physical therapy. I made the mistake of not recognizing the amount of time I needed to close out my work and train my sec/treasurer replacement. What I had a real choice about last month was this committee. And I just went along. I just said well I agreed to be on the committee last year - then it got shelved. Yet, here it is. Now is the time for it, and I'll make time.

And I admit I didn't choose. I was too embarrassed to say, no I cannot do this now. I really want to help this organization. I thought this is a temporary tightness in my schedule. And it is and was. Except, I feel really sad this week. I just completely abandoned my creative life. Gone. I'll never get that time back.

This week I'm still a volunteer with this organization and I wear a few hats there. I'm still on this committee. I believe it won't interfere too much in the future with my creative dawdling time, but there is a part of me that worries it will because of what happened last month. My physical therapy is going to start winding down. Thankfully, I'm much much better. I did all the work for the sec/treas job and gave it over. There are a few details, but I'm done with the job. So now I have the chance to get back to something creative.

I think this blog of mine is about practicing this muscle that says "No, I cannot do this because I must tend to my creative dawdler." How do you say no to things you care about but are less important than your creative life? Why do we in this culture minimize creativity? It seems only important if you are a bestselling author or painter or musician? I do not really believe that. I believe creativity is just as important to human beings as breathing, loving, eating, etc.... But it still feels wrong sometimes to put my need for creative puttering time ahead of the requests of people I care about.

I am proud of myself for one thing. In the month of January I stayed consistent with my exercise and I cooked meals for my husband and I. I just feel so sorry I neglected my creative life. How do you handle this when your creative life gets swallowed? Do you have any tricks for getting back to it? For starting again?