Rusty bits......

....is such a metaphor for the creative process when it gets into stuck.  If one doesn't use it then things get rusty and stagnant and stuck.  Then when one turns on the tap it's messy and yucky and sputtering with red rusty bleck.   It is really easy to quit at that point.  To say to yourself  I cannot draw.  What was I thinking - I am no sculptor.  I will never write this novel.   Look at all these art supplies that I've stockpiled and now they are stagnating.    Oh well.....my creative life is over......

But wait!.........

That is just the rust coming out of the creative tap.   It is possible to get rusty even overnight or between studio sessions or writing sessions.  Yesterday I was in the flow but what is this bleck today -I'm anxious.  I don't like it.  I want to listen to my gremlins aka the committee and just avoid it all. 

But if I was to look at this bleck as a rusty faucet sputtering.....and I just told the committee to go play in the clubhouse while I work on this.......and I began again knowing that some rust may appear and nothing has gone wrong.  Just keep pumping that creative well.

Set some conditions of enoughness*.     Soon, the creative water will flow crystal clear or at least it won't be so darn blecky!  And when it does get blecky between creative dawdling time then I know what to do..... just keep on taking steps.

Announcement......

I have an acquaintance that is participating in NaNoWriMo.   In fact, she's organizing some events for it in my local community.   I've never known anyone local who has participated in this novel writing month.   I've witnessed it online.   This year I thought - oooooh....I could do that.   In my mind I imagined going to the write-ins and making friends and doing all this writing.......I do love to write.   My husband said to me, "oh you'd have no problem writing that much."

Then I realized, durnit,  - I have no big burning desire to write fiction at this point in time.    So if the NaNoWriMo is a push to just "dooo eeet." (thanks Havi for the do it phrase)   NaNoWriMo's have said, "I've always wanted to write a novel............" 

then what in my life am I always saying  "I've always wanted to.........???????"

Answer.......there are many answers to that question,  but what came to mind for an equivalent NaNoWriMo type project was......

I've always wanted to take these strange rusty bits I collected more than a decade ago and use them with clay to make art.  Weird I know......but hey we all have mysterious things that we love...  

If not 2010, then when?

Then I thought Leah Piken Kolidas offers this Art Every Day Month each November.   I could join that?......I hesitated to join because I thought - maybe I don't really want to have the pressure to blog about this......but you know I like the idea of joining in community.  It may not be local but it is still a community.  I need to track this and why not on the blog with friends and creative companions.  

So, in just a few days I will start taking those rusty bits and doing a creative dawdle with them.  My goal is not to create one finished piece each day but to work each day on them.......To work everyday at sketches, and clay lumps, and to do something everyday in November to move these rusty bits along.   To pump my creative well.

Now I likely won't post about this every day.....but I will try to keep frequent updates coming so that I can declare myself satisfied via conditions of enoughness*.    And it helps to be part of the community if I actually share what I'm doing.  If you are here visiting from AEDM  - welcome!  Feel free to dawdle and dabble around here.......or feed the bunnies.

*want to know what conditions of enoughness are?-see Jen Louden's work  

The Committee

spiritdoll made by Kara 1995

Eventually, every creative dawdler in action will come face to face with he/she/it/them-

Recently, I have been having conversations with my critic.   It may be more accurate to say my critic(s).  Actually, I think there is a committee of gremlins, critics, dragons, monsters and a lizard (that reptilian part of my own brain). So I've started calling them the Committee.

The Committee appears-
They show up and prevent me from doing my full out creative dawdling.
The say stop and caution.....avoid....avoid!  Sometimes they sweetly lull me away from my studio.   I think my procrastination and overwhelm is really the habit of unconsciously listening and believing everything this Committee has to say.

Appearing soon at Creative Dawdling-
I've built them a clubhouse.  I've been coloring them and listening to what they are saying.  I've begun.....gulp....to even comfort them a little bit.     I have lots to share, so this will just be my first post in a series.

I am grateful for: 5

FOX

IN A

BOX

Pattern Overwhelm

I often say I'm overwhelmed.  I wrote about overwhelm before.  Then I kind of forgot about it until a friend was saying I'm overwhelmed.......I once had an insight about that so I went to find my writing about it.....this has lead me into writing this new post about overwhelm.

In the last 2 months I've been doing this brain dance.  And by gosh it has helped me begin to see a pattern.   More dancing is required to fully unmake it and remake a new habit.  As a consequence of doing this wacky flailing of arms dance I see a little more clearly my overwhelm pattern.  It is so weird that this dance works. (more about that in future posts)

I say I'm overwhelmed, and it's usually on a day when I feel I need to answer emails, plan dinner, drive 50 miles to do the main grocery shopping, pay bills, and there are a million little care of the home tasks like scooping out the litter box and watering the basil.........

What I'm discovering is that it isn't all that, pardon my wording, *crap* that has me overwhelmed.   It is that on some level I've reached a point where I've been avoiding my one big thing.   Back when I wrote about overwhelm before - I did not put in any links in my post.  Nor did I put in the links to the blogs that originally gave me a clue to this insight.  So here is the link love to those bloggers....... Third Hands Works mentioned it and she was referring to Mona Grayson's post about it.  

But more about my Big Thing......
 I'm a creative dawdler.   Living a creative existence is what I feel is my Big Thing.  Creative dawdling isn't just the name of  my blog - it's what I call all my juicy soul nourishing creative activities......In my years of being a creative dawdler I have developed some habits that maybe are not so useful such as procrastination, drifting, exploring all things creative instead of focusing on just one or two.   These habits lead me to a pattern of overwhelm.

Sometimes when I am avoiding/drifiting from my creative life or when there is a lot of external responsibilities happening that I feel the time monsters shouting   -No Time!  No Time for creative! -  I start to go into a frenzy of chores and to dos and say I'm overwhelmed.   But really it's a clue that my overwhelm pattern loop is happening.  The way out is to go back to my creative dawdling.  Even a small step is enough to lessen overwhelm. 

Sometimes my creative dawdling has me overwhelmed because I love to do soooooooo many things........just a quick list includes, clay, SoulCollage®, journaling, photography, crochet, astrology, rituals, space arrangement, writing for personal pleasure, writing my blog, assemblage art, beading, reading about any of these topics........there's more....but my point is that when I say I'm overwhelmed in regards to my creative dawdling then it is usually because I'm thinking about all of these and more in a monkey mind jumping around in the studio tree's way.  I haven't actually taken a concrete tangible action on a one of them. 

The way to disrupt the pattern loop is to just pick something within my Big Thing Domain of Creative Dawdling and act on it.  Or finish something that is part way done.    In this instance, when I'm overwhelmed in my creative dawdling I have to make myself sit down and take an action.  Ignore the mind, tell the critic to go take a break(more about that in a future post) and do one creative thing.  I do not even have to worry about what that thing is as long as it is a tangible action and not more thinking about it.   I also don't have to worry about the quality of the creative act.....only doing - doing badly, ugly,or beautifully but DOING.

This is where Jen Louden's Conditions of Enoughness comes in handy.     This process helps you pick a simple action, do it in a measurable way, making sure it is dependent only on you to do, and when you are done you declare yourself satisfied - even if you do not feel satisfied.    

Here is a part of my overwhelm pattern I've noticed.....
When I'm in overwhelm I'm very bad a choosing a simple action.  As soon as I try to set a simple condition of enoughness (COE for short) I get more overwhelmed.   That is because choosing a COE while in that mind boogling moment of overwhelm doesn't work for me.  It is too much thinking and not yet an action.   So for me, I have to do a preview action before setting a COE.  I have to do something creative and not worry about what it is so I might draw -or scribble -or doodle -or list words.  I might crochet.  I like to use my hands.   That action calms me down.   Dance of Shiva (brain dance) also gets me out of thinking and breaks the pattern loop.   

Once I've calmed down then I can come up with some COE's that help me further along on my creative dawdling path.  They help me lessen overwhelm.    The COE's help me move forward with quantity.  The brain dance helps me notice the pattern. 

It isn't that overwhelm is never going to happen.....but it's nice to have a little clue as to what will shift the pattern and what will help move me out of drifting and procrastination.......

Are you overwhelmed?  Ever thought it's not the to do list pressing on you but your one big thing saying attend to me?  Whatever, your thing is, I wish you creative blessings.....
 
The bunnies around here love comments......please feed them.

I am grateful for: 4

noticing the turning of the seasons......

Happy Equinox!

late summer blooms

seeds for the birds

I am grateful for: 3

A hubby who picked wildflowers for his late summer lady.  Oh, Beauty!

I am grateful for: 2

A sister who made, with her loving hands, an apple pecan cheesecake for me.

 YUM!