Indulge the heart

Hi there blog........I guess I've been doing too much dawdling and not enough blogging. That is one of the challenges of being a creative dawdler, it is easy to slip into doing a lot of nothing and having nothing to show for it.

Lately, I've been getting the urge to come back. And also the urge to keep track of my creative dawdling. Blogging about it seems like the next action step.

I do believe one can be a creative dawdler and be productive. Though, at first glance, the two seem at odds or opposites of each other. I've spent oh.....15 years if not more, minimizing, hiding, putting down myself as a creative dawdler. When you do that to yourself you become less productive and really not very much fun to be around. See, if they are connected that way..... why wouldn't a little celebrating, expressing, and praising creative dawdling have the opposite effect and make one more productive? In 2010 I'm going to explore this question.

So here's a toast to 2009. Raise up your glass of whatever you are indulging in. Still here. Still creative. Still alive with a beating heart and indulging in another year. Grateful for it.

As I turn the page to 2010. I am going to explore and experiment with tracking my creative dawdling. Come along with me.....I invite you to add your voice to mix.

Parking spots for my creative interests.

A few days ago I took a bath. It's always in the bath that I get such good ideas. The thoughts about my life seems to flow in the bathtub. So here are some notes from the tub:

I reread parts of Barbara Sher's book Refuse to Choose. I'm a scanner. This is a term Sher came up with to describe the types of people who are wired to be interested in many things. She first used the term in her book, I Could Do Anything If Only I Knew What It Was. Later she wrote a whole book, Refuse to Choose, about scanners and the different types of scanners.

So, if you are familiar with the book then I'll say I'm a Sybil Scanner and you'll know what that means. But you don't need to know what that means for our purposes here. The first time I read this book I felt relieved. I was thinking I really needed to pick one of my interests like ceramics or writing and choose ONLY one to focus on turning into a career or something productive.

Now a few years later, I accept that I want and need all of my interests. I keep cycling back to each one. Upon rereading this chapter regarding Sybil scanners I see exactly what I need to do for my sanity and productiveness. I need to set a schedule for myself and my interests.

I'm really good about showing up for my library volunteer work. It has a schedule, and people are expecting me to show up. I'm not so good with my clay work. No one is expecting me to show up and I have no schedule for it.

The problem with this is I let myself down when it comes to my creative interests. I fail to show up and it causing me to not trust myself. I really don't want to continue down this path. I need to schedule and expect myself to show up for myself.

I have a lot of creative interests. I'll name just a few:
clay
making stuff/creative assemblage
journaling
writing
crochet
yoga
beads
soul collage®
reading
libraries

This leads to the other issue I need to address. My interests need parking spots and landing spots, which I'll explain in a moment. Sher suggests making avocation stations for each of your interests. A place designated for each interest. Right now my interests are on top of each other. They are piled and jumbled and disorganized.

If I want to do clay work I may have to spend several hours just getting a space to work.

I know there is a table under here somewhere.............

Say I decide to begin a new crochet project, but where did I leave that size G crochet hook? And while I'm looking for that hook I find.......the clasps!!.....
to make that bracelet that I bought beads for oh so many months ago

..............uh oh, where did I put those beads?!

Do you feel my pain yet...........?

All that stuff I clear off the table mostly are bits and ideas for all my creative interests. And if I go to work on one thing I'm likely to find a whole bunch of other things I want to do. It hits me all at once and the result is I work on nothing while the ideas yammer at me to work on them. No wonder I go running for shadow comforts and time monsters (google Jennifer Louden to find out what those are)

So.........while in the tub, rereading this chapter I came up with a solution and I'm already on my way to sorting it out. I am reorganizing my studio. I am saying yes to all my creative interests. I am storing them in a way that I think is like parking spots.

For instance, soul collage® will have a parking spot. Sized for the space it needs.

My clay, already has a working parking spot, but it needs an empty table....i.e. landing spot.

Beads will have a spot. Writing pages will have a spot. Yarn and room for more yarn will have parking spots. Notebooks for various interests will have a spot to collect ideas.

My goal is to be able to take the stuff out, work with it, and put it away easily in a short period of time. So if I have the urge to create in (fill in the blank)_________ interest it flows from working on it and back to it's parking spot with ease and allows the creative momentum to happen. The landing spot is the table and having room and space to maneuver the stuff in and out onto the table and off (very important!).

Once I get it all sorted and parked. I plan to do a test run and take 5 minutes get it out. Play for 5 minutes and put it away. Then test the next interest. Once I get the stuff in a easy way to use, then I'll work on my schedule.......ah, that may be more challenging.

I may be a creative dawdler, putterer, or scanner - but I refuse to let it jam me up and keep me from enjoying the creative flow.

So I'll let you know as I go........

word play

I really need to get some photos in here...........but that's another day...........today is about word play.


When you feel SCARED

take the letters in that word and

rearrange them

until they spell

SACRED

Focus on that. Because what one focuses on expands.

For me dawdling,

dithering,

breathing,

and being are sacred.

Permission.......

I really think there is a huge shift happening right now. I could give all these reasons using politics, the culture, or astrology. Some of this change I am digusted with and I can shake my hands around and rant in a flurry "it's the WRONG direction!" Some of the change I think might be just what we need so we can go into a new and vibrant and more common sense direction. (once we get through the pain of it all...........and just when will that be, I wonder?)

Here is what I really want to express tonight-
Creative dawdling is important.

We all need time to just rest. This is the way I rest. I dither around in crafts or in my studio. I write. I meander through books. I just sit still and allow my mind to run however it's gonna run.......ah yes, there goes a thought and another thought.....breathe in and out. I'm not trying to get anywhere but recognize and feel

I.....am..... here.

It is too easy to negate or minimize the importance of just drifting awhile. To say it's not solving the worlds problems. To fall into the trap of thinking if there isn't work involved and struggle and suffering then it must not be important. If I'm not getting paid or praised for it then it must not be of any value.

I created this blog with this title because I think it's important to just stop, or slow waaaaay down.

For you, your creative dawdle might be lying in a hammock and watching the clouds float. Or maybe it is bowling with the nintendo wii.

Or taking a bath. Or pulling weeds in the garden.

It isn't for anyone else to judge or decide. You know what lets you soften into your softest self. You know what allows fresh ideas and vibrancy to flow into your being.

You know what gets you to let down your guard and find your body- your place in being. You know the things that allow you to quiet the other voices and what allows you to hear yourself.

So you have permission. You always had and will have permission. But you must decide to use this permission.

I'm just like everyone else in this world - I want to be valued and loved and sometimes I think "no, no, I cannot allow myself to putter about"-I must prove my worth (and usually I look to someone else to determine what I must do for proof).

I recognize we cannot be in a creative dawdle 24/7. I'm actually in favor of logical and practical work too. I'm all in favor of service and the golden rule. I'm not trying to promote irresponsible selfishness. I am trying to promote responsible connection to one's being.

It's been my experience, when I decide to allow myself some creative puttering time, I come fully into myself. When it's time to be there for others, and care for the world at large, I am much more able to do it and willingly do it without the neediness, pettiness, and tit for tat that I'm prone toward when I neglect myself.

So, here I am telling myself.....and you if you are reading this far.......I am simply saying creative dawdling is important.

Bathtub tea notes

Notes from the bathtub series. This is where I will write about the creative meander I took while soaking away in the bathtub. The bathtub is my most favorite way to creatively dawdle, dither, and daydream.

Today I chose these books to bring with me to the tub. What We Ache For: Creativity and the Unfolding of Your Soul by Or Mountain Dreamer * Awaken Your Strongest Self: Break Free of Stress, Inner Conflict, and Self-Sabotage by Neil Fiore, Ph.D. * Courage and Craft: Writing Your Life Into Story by Barbara Abercrombie * and It's a Meaningful Life: It just takes practice by Bo Lozoff.

I always take more than I can read. I started by sinking into my tub retreat. My cat Oscar always has to have some bathtub tea. So I let him drink the hot water from my cupped hands. It's our little ritual that begins the retreat time. After he's had enough I will put in the stinky stuff (essentials oils, salts).

Eventually, after some relaxing and soaking and breathing I'll open a book or two. Today, I only read It's a Meaningful Life. It is a book I read several years ago. For some reason today it asked me to revisit it. Yes, you read that right. The book on my shelf said "take me, take me" when I stood there looking for bathtub companions.

Here is a quote from the book
"We are much deeper than we usually let on" - Bo Lozoff

For me I need time and must take the time to putter about in my studio. Meander around the backyard. Sink into the relaxing heat of a warm bathtub. Meditate. I need sacred dawdling time in order to begin to sense my depths. From our depths comes creativity, love, equanimity.

Today, while in the tub instead of thinking about starting a new blog I thought about what to write on this blog I created. What is it I most want to express here? We live in such a fast paced world. Right now especially it is easy to get overwhelmed by all of it. I want to encourage myself to dawdle. To be okay with that and not try to hide it. The world will spin madly on and yet, I want to say - here I am - I'm slowing down. I'm sinking into the depths of Beingness itself. Just to BE - nothing else to be done. It is absolutely necessary for living.

I want to be brave enough to go deeper and let others know it. Creative dawdling is how I go deeper. This blog is how I'll let others know about it. Okay, enough for now I must go cook dinner.

Notes from.........

Welcome to my new blog. I love to dawdle, putter, dither, and meander in all things creative. This is going to be my spot that I just drop in and leave notes. Or maybe leave photo evidence of my creative dawdling. I found this little image creator over at ImageChef.com. Here's the link to the candy hearts.