Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Rain needed in the heart of the desert.

I was looking through some photos from last September 2010.  I snapped all these photos after a late summer rain shower.  The misty clouds are still hovering.

I notice how much wild growth we had in our yard. That same kind of growth, grasses and brush, would have happened all over the state.  Now that growth is dry and acts like a fire tinder.  The smallest spark can set it off.  I heard that 603,000 acres have burned in New Mexico wildfires just since the beginning of 2011.

This land needs some rain.  Yesterday my coworkers and I were discussing the things everyone is doing to call the rain.   One gal mentioned washing her car.  I chimed in with how I washed my windows.  Someone else said the catholics took the saints out and paraded them around the village.   And there is a pow-wow planned soon over at the one of the nearby pueblos.

It is nice to look at these photos of cactus dripping with moisture.  Such a nicer thing to put into my mind then what I've been worrying about lately.  I'm also a heart shaped collector of images, rocks, and etc....what can I say but this photo just does it for me.

I thought it won't hurt to put up some images of rain reflections.  To remind myself rain does and will come here again.  
hello rainwater!

My happy laughing frog will once again hold rain drops.  Until then, I'm keeping the faith.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Tonglen for the desert

When the smoke from the AZ wildfires came, this is what it looked like outside my door.  It smelled like the forest was on fire, and it was hard to even step outside to snap this photo.  That ridge is less than a mile away even though the perspective of this photo makes it look much farther away. 

Montezuma's Ridge June 6
We've had several days of clear skies again.  The wind pattern has taken the smoke to other areas.  I feel very sad and worried about the fires in Arizona.   It isn't just Arizona though.  I worry for all of the southwest.   My own state of New Mexico has had numerous fires this season.  I try not to be too anxious about where I live..........but I am anxious.  I feel dry and brittle.    I can feel the stress from all the plants.  I make sure to get water outside each morning into a low birdbath.  I saw a rabbit drinking from it yesterday evening.    That was joy for my heart to witness.   

I did not see the wildflowers much this year.  A few struggled to bloom.  The cactus is fairing better, but their blooms do not last long.  This little gem appeared one day.  I happened to catch it when I was outside giving other drought tolerant plants some supplemental water.  
Cactus bloom under pinon tree June 2011

My meditation has begun to include some tonglen. I breathe in dry brittle and breathe out moist soft.

I breathe in gratitude for exactly the way it is and I breathe out gratitude for exactly the way it will eventually change.  Each moment always changing.   What remains beyond that?

It is counter intuitive.  I don't like breathing in the dry brittle and I want to resist and bolt from my cushion.  Yet, I stay.  I return again to the practice of breathing in the dry brittle smokey fear and breathing out the moist soft clear gentleness.   This practice opens me to catch a glimpse of greater wisdom.  It calms my anxiety. 

It opens my ability to receive what is here now and beyond what it always changing.  It is like the sweetness of catching a glimpse of cactus in bloom or the happy relief of a rabbit quenching it's thirst.  It is like sending down my taproot to drink from THAT which is ever present and beyond. 

That glimpse doesn't last.   Nothing lasts.   Living is inherantly uncertain and groundless, and my anxiety comes again.  My mind rattles on to other worries.     So, I  return again to my meditation cushion each day- practicing tonglen for the desert.

Creative blessings to all who stop by.....

Friday, June 10, 2011

Friday Link from the rabbit hole.

Not sure now who pointed me to this video.........it was likely in someone's friday links????  The memory gets fuzzy when I fall down the rabbit hole........ 

I think I want to make this beet cake.  I'm not a cake baker because I haven't figured out how to adjust for high altitude.  Oh, and the little detail that my hubster and I would weigh 500 lbs EACH.   Something tells me this might be a cake worth trying to make the adjustment for high altitude.    Or maybe that is just my craving for it at this moment.

I can say it is worth it to spend two minutes watching this painterly video of making this cake.  

Creative blessings and happy watching.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Stand in solidarity for play

What is creative dawdling?  It's PLAY. 

It has the ability to shape shift into a multitude of activities that don't have a darn thing to do with any "artistic" or classically creative activites such as drawing or theatre. 

It is a worthy thing to do regardless of outcome. Creative dawdling is the permission to do something you want to do because it makes you feel at home with yourSELF.   Like fingerprints each person has a unique to them combo of creative dawdles.  No one can say there is one and only one way to dawdle.

Creative dawdling is spiritual.    You know it by how your spirit comes alive.  Sometimes it is mundane and  sometimes it is inspired, but your inner spirit resonates with it.   

You have permission to play.  Permission to do something you enjoy for no reason other than you enjoy it.  I say this more for myself, than for anyone reading this, but feel free to take it into your own heart.
You have permission to dawdle. 
Remember that it is up to your own heart to give you permission.  It doesn't come from anywhere else no matter how much you've been fooled into believing otherwise. 

You have permission to _______________________________________    Fill in the blank and try it on. See what comes up to the edge of your awareness.  Now give yourself more permission to relax into those edges.  

Each day is a new day to give yourself fresh permission.  It doesn't just happen once and then you are done.   Giving yourself permission is like brushing your teeth.   Wash, rinse, repeat.

Like brushing your teeth, permission to play doesn't have to be done only when you find the time to retreat for a week.  It can be done in little moments. 

This blog for me is NOT about how I make my living.  I'm not selling anything here.  I'm not earning extra pennies from affiliate links.  I'm not saying there is anything wrong with that either.  At this moment, this blog is place for me to express myself without the pressure of making it into a business.  A way to share my dawdles, the things that light up my spirit.  To share my creative heart.  To scratch my writing itch.  

Also this blog isn't about gaining some kind fame or attention.  I do crave attention sometimes (what blog writer doesn't? comments - yes please I'll have some of those).   It's more accurate to say this blog is about connecting, and about leaving a record of what resonates with meaning in my life. 

I sometimes think about opening an etsy shop and going toward a blog that connects my creativity to earning money.   I fantasize about teaching.    I look at what other people are doing and think I should do that.  Should is a big red flag.  I forget sometimes and begin to think commerce is the only reason to blog.  That gets me into trouble every single time I go there in my thinking.  Then the motivation to write lapses.

This blog for me is a hobby.  And why is it when I say hobby it somehow demeans it's purpose?  Because we live in this culture that says if it does not earn money, then it has no meaning, no worthiness.    This makes me sad.  It is not true.  Unfortunately, it is a message that must be constantly managed and filtered into the do not believe file.

I feel the need to return to writing on my blog.  It means something for the quality of my life to share my play, my creative dawdles, my spiritual meanders.

I must stand in solidarity with my blog and it's purpose as a hobby.   To stand with it and say it is OK to PLAY.  It is alright to write on a blog for no other reason than it feels enjoyable.   To stand and say creative dawdling is important.    It is as valuable to do as brushing your teeth regularly and often.   

To stand and say - I am a creative dawdler. I do not need to explain or wait for someone else to give me permission   A minute, two, or five daily might be enough to get going.  

Remember permission comes from inside yourSELF.   

Creative blessings to all who come here from commentators to beloved lurkers.