Saturday, November 27, 2010

An end of AEDM and a break.

AEDM was a bust for me this year.  I started out with lots of momentum.  Then I began to realize the project of using my rusty bits wasn't really holding my interest.  My heart and desire wasn't in it.   So actually, I cannot completely say AEDM was a bust because I learned something about what my desire is not.  I actually feel a bit lighter around it all now and can let it go. 

I might have switched to something else as a daily art project, except mid month my 10 year old cat Oscar got sick.   He seems to be getting better now, but there is still a bit of a question mark about his health.   I've been caring for him instead of focusing on doing any kind of art or creative things.  Though I've managed a moment here or there, nothing much to document.  

December is just around the corner.  I won't turn this post into a rant but it is a little bit of one...... I'm already feeling worn out.  I come online either to get email, or look at Facebook or read some blogs and everywhere I turn is a pitch for someone's product, ebook, vote, movement, etc.   Right now it's a lot about the Holidays but soon it will be the "turn over a new page and live the life you've always wished for stuff" that comes with the New Year.

I am questioning why I blog.  I thought it might be useful to have an outlet to express myself.  I certainly thought it might be useful to keep track of my creative dawdling.   I know it would be useful to be more consistent on this blog.   I sometimes see an online class or ebook that might help me improve this blog, but I am weary of online connecting.  As I said above I'm tired of all the connecting that is just a big cluttered room of sales pitches of one kind or another.   Or if it isn't a sales pitch it is some other kind of believe as I do sort of broadcast and be sure to share it with your network.    Yes, you do hear some cynicism in my voice.

So, I think at least for December I am going to take a break.   Oh, I'll still come online.....just not quite so mindlessly and habitually.  I think this will be the last post I make this year on my blog........I reserve the right to change my mind.   I'm not quitting my blog.   For now, I'm just saying you don't need to look for a post from me in December.

Have a happy end of the year 2010 however you choose to reflect upon it and celebrate it.  Creative blessings to y'all.


Sunday, November 14, 2010

Sometimes I feel like giving up.   It's been one of those weeks for me.  I have managed to do a little creative something everyday but none to very little of it involved clay or rusty bits.   Well, I did look through some library books about mosaic.

I have had several visions for some of my rusty bits.  First it involved learning to weld so I could weld these bits together and make some really strange and cool yard sculpture.   This makes me remember I once had a flirtation with rock climbing.  I bought shoes and started climbing walls and realized I love the idea of this more than actually doing it.  The nearly new shoes went to a sports consignment shop.  That was twenty years ago - ugh!    

Several years ago I gave up the idea of learning to weld.   It occurred to me that I did not need to try it to discover it was like rock climbing for me.  I love the idea but I strongly suspect I would not actually like doing it.  Then slowly over time my vision morphed toward making clay creations and using my rusty bits with those.  This is what I've run up against - my vision doesn't actually match what I tend to do creatively.    I see these rusty bits and clay put together in my mind and I just know it isn't my art.  It isn't what I create.   The vision is based on what I've seen others create.   Suddenly this week the committee came in and convinced me to give up.  My committee is what I call the gremlins/inner critics.   I sort of stopped doing any of the creative things I was doing with clay.

So I'm stuck.  And in a bit of funk because of it.  Ok, a lot of funk.   I am hoping to break through the funk just a little bit.  To say hey, committee, I won't give up.  I may give up the vision I have for these rusty bits, but that doesn't mean I have to give up creating.   Today, I am going to get back with my hands in the clay.  I may do some other creative things too, but first priority is to get my hands into the clay.

When I started this Art Every Day Month I thought I will push through and make something with all these rusty bits using clay.   I will focus my attention just on that.  I learned this week that I really don't want this at all.  What I mean is - I am much happier doing a creative dawdle than creating some big dang do.   I was trying to take my vision and make some big dang do.

Really what I want is to be enough.  To create what pulls me each day.  To work in small lumps, small steps.  To say one day I will create by writing my blog.  To say another day I will create in my journal.  To get out clay and form something out of it one day.....but another day paint glaze on the clay.     To photograph another day.  To not force myself into some kind of mold or vision that is outside of me.  Not that there is anything wrong with creating a big dang do it is just that I've come to realize that for me just the act of doing some tangible hands on creating everyday is enough. 

So I'm changing my mind mid-month about the rusty bits.    I am letting a lot of it go.   I still may use a bit or two in something I'm making but I've decided to be creative every day without a forced agenda.   Actually, now I can feel my energy rising.   I don't feel so much in a funk. 

I give myself permission to be enough.  And with that I am off to the studio.......

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Clay Play Every Day - The Rusty Bits Update

My rusty bits project so far has been fun and challenging at times.  So far I've worked on something in clay everyday.  I've drifted a little away from some of my rusty bits.  I saw some mosaic work this week and it gave me an idea that I may want to use mosaic to incorporate my rusty bits into art.......that of course opens up a whole lot of mess.  I really do not like the process of mosaic that much.  I love the effect of mosaics but grouting and the heaviness of the finished product has always deterred me from doing much of it.  There would be a large technical learning curve if I was to do I'm pondering it for now.   

Meanwhile I keep working in clay.  I think today, Sunday Day 7, I will give myself a break from the wet clay.  I may create some sketches and mindmaps about the project.  I will finish glazing a piece that I started long before this month began.  I have a lot of lingering unfinished pieces that await glaze.  I also would like to finish two SoulCollage® cards that are awaiting to be glued.  

We've had very nice weather this past week....I know the wind and cold will be coming and snow maybe.   On Day 2 of this project I did not save the clay piece I worked on.  I took notes about what I liked and what worked but I didn't think the piece was worth the trouble to dry and fire and I smooshed it back into the bag.    I went outside to walk my labyrinth and took my camera.   I had the best time playing in the late day sun......The long shadows gave me some interesting shots....
Here is one of my favorites.....

Day 3 I was inspired by a Brene Brown video.  And the day before I'd had a discussion with someone who reminded me that some of the rusty bits I have are in the form of barbed wire.    It was left here on our property and I wouldn't let my husband throw it away.  So I went out and got a piece of it and created this heart with a saying inspired from Brown.    Her blog is found at Ordinary Courage.    And the video found at youtube - TedxHouston.   I shared the video on my Facebook and it is worth the 20 minutes of time.  Many people are now sharing it and commenting they've watched it several times.  I have watched it multiple times too.  

Day 4 I found myself making angels.....and using my clay and other items to make impressions in them......

Day 5 I loved what I made.  I was completely stumped when I started and then I went on to make something that just delights me......but I didn't take a picture of it.  So you'll have to wait to see it.   I think I may wait until I get it fired and glazed and fired again.   All of these clay pieces once they are fired will turn a nice terra cotta color and have some mica twinkles to them. 

Day 6, well I was tired.  So I switched to my favorite soft low fire clay called story teller.  I started by just relaxing and making in a meditative way one of my hearts.    Then I played with making a face.  I nearly threw this back in the bag - but decided it is so small, approximately 1.5 inches in diameter, I will find some use for it.  It's over worked but in the end reminds me of the man in the moon.  I think the photo is the best thing about it at this point.  It's leaning up against a rusty bit.

At this point I feel like I need to leave you with something colorful because this clay is all so grey right now.  So here is some color. 

May your creative life bloom......just like beauty.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Art Every Day Month Begins

Rusty bits project day 1: November 1

I was a bit short on time yesterday to start off my rusty bits project.  So, I had to just dooo eeet!  This clay piece may end up getting fired and hanging from the rusty bit above it.  Or I may change my mind and do something else.  It is all about experimentation - Yay!

I'm proud of myself for several things.  I began.  I used my slab roller.  I used one of my sister's doilies to press into the clay for experimentation. Thanks sis for the crochet donations!

Before I go to play in the clay today here is one other photo from yesterday
My studio helper and a random studio view on 11/01/2010
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